hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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