so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
