i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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