weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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