Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
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