Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
