How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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