omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
4 words: hood of his car
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
