you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
