Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize