everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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