So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
The Olympian is in my bed
The air taste purple.
Randomize
