im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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