I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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