I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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