I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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