There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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