since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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