It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
