weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I need to stop coming to work sober
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
You did what with his pubic hair?
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