wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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