Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
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