It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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