I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
