Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
