wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
