Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
