ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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