I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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