You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Green mimosas i think yes
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
