lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.