he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.