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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?

  (760): View more from California

  You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.

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  25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES

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  25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On

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• (805): View more from California

  So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka

  (1-805): View more from California

  Sweet. Did I win?

  (805): View more from California

  Youre hungover arent you?

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• (206): View more from Washington

  He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.

  (415): View more from California

  Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I like the wholesome side of you

  (571): View more from Virginia

  I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  ...object impermanence?

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