Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
