I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize