We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
