I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
