Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize