there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
