Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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