Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
