Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
