Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
