Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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