So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Randomize