Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
