he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize
