Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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