I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
