a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
