I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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