I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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