Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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