Christians are straight up FREAKS
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
