sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
