hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
