the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I know her cup size but not her name....
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