I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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