Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
