i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
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I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
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It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
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