i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
