One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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