People with herpes should wear stickers.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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