This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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