You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i think i have two assholes
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
