he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
